Speed Goats - page 3 of 39

Johnny Skeptuk
May it please the Court, I wish to state firmly that the antelope is not, never has been, and never will be in danger in this country, let alone in Yellowstone National Park. I will prove this beyond the slightest shadow of a doubt.

Cornelia Prong
Objection!

L’Capra
Ms. Prong, the opposition is merely making his opening statement. There will be time to raise objections when Mr. Skeptuk presents his evidence.

Prong
Your Honor, the counselor is confusing the issue right from the start. Mr. Skeptuk has stated correctly that the antelope is not in danger in United States, but that is because no such animal exists in this country. Rather, antelope are found in Southeast Asia and Africa.

We are here to argue the case of the pronghorn, an animal native to North America. During their expedition of 1803 to 1805, Lewis and Clark first referred to this animal as an “antelope” but, as I’m sure Mr. Skeptuk is well aware, the name is biologically inaccurate.

Glossary
antelope — slender, long-horned hoofed mammals that live in Africa and Asia. Examples are impalas and hartebeests.